By Leslie Massicotte, Teens Climb High Coordinator
At Teens Climb High, we love when teens ask us questions about sexuality!
In our classrooms, we offer ‘The Question Box,’ a nondescript box placed somewhere in our classroom in which students anonymously submit any and all sexuality related questions and we the facilitators answer them with factual, straightforward information.
Below are five questions from our ninth grade students--check out what y’all are asking and if you know the answers!
At what age is it considered healthy to start having sex?
There’s not one single age at which it’s considered healthy to start having sex. You’re the only one who will know when/if you’re ready. An important guideline we suggest is that if you’re not comfortable talking about sex, HIV, STIs, and consent, then you’re not ready. Consider your values and weigh the risks and benefits. Talk it out with someone you trust.
What makes you 100% sure you wanna switch genders?
There’s no way to be 100% sure that is the same for everyone. Some folks experience their biological sex (their body parts) not matching their gender (how they identify), and they feel a deep discomfort and dislike with the way their body looks and feels--this is called gender dysphoria. They might feel uncomfortable being referred to with certain pronouns (he/him, she/her, etc) or being referred to as a woman/girl or man/boy. The journey is different for everyone. It can be helpful to talk to others who have had similar experiences at your local LGBTQ center or to find an LGBTQ-friendly therapist or doctor to discuss it with.
Is it true that women have 3 holes down there while boys only have 2?
Yes! People with a penis have two holes in their genital region: the urethra (where the pee comes out from the tip of the penis) and the anus (or butthole). People with a vagina have three holes in the genital region: the urethra (where the pee comes out, in between the clitoris and the vaginal opening--see the diagram below for more details), the vaginal opening (the entrance of the vagina--where period blood leaves the body and a baby is delivered), and the anus (butthole).
What exactly is the vulva?
The vulva is the external anatomy containing the labia (or vaginal lips), clitoris (a sensitive bundle of nerves shaped like a wishbone whose purpose is sexual pleasure), urethra (opening for pee), and the vaginal opening. Here is a diagram: https://static.wixstatic.com/media/1d7c71_f857c28fe18b4fcc8635c12d589fc615~mv2.jpg/v1/fill/w_600,h_600,al_c,q_90/1d7c71_f857c28fe18b4fcc8635c12d589fc615~mv2.jpg
What if I want to have sex before my parents are willing to put me on birth control?
In North Carolina, you have the legal right to obtain the following medical services without a parent or guardian’s permission:
Contraceptives (birth control, including Emergency Contraception)
Testing and treatment for STDs and HIV
Pregnancy testing and prenatal care
Treatment for substance abuse or mental illness
By law, a doctor cannot tell anyone if you receive these services. This law is called Minors’ Right to Consent. Ideally, however, we hope you can involve a parent in your decision making process.